That’s right bitches, Baby Face Merges are BAAAAAACK!
So last year, I did a whole day of the blog devoted to horrible face merges of the couples in Pride & Prejudice to see what their offspring might look like.
Ok, that’s actually putting it too nicely: Some of them looked like Satan’s Own.
And though I’ve been trying to be good and not copy too many ideas from last year’s advent series, this one was too good to not do again. Especially because, as I’m very happy to say, the couples in Sense & Sensibility fared no better than their Pride & Prejudice counterparts…
Again (like last year) I am APPALLED at the lack of good face merge technology, so I’ve got two sets to share with you today. (But honestly, the worst face merges are possibly the best.) I am pleased to report though that some of the programs remember I’d already bought their app last year, and I saved myself the $5 in downloads this time!
So without further ado, I present to you, the bouncing bundle of TERROR that is Marianne and Colonel Brandon’s Baby:
Ahhh yes, it has its mother’s eyes… and by that, I mean it clearly reached up and took out Marianne’s eyeballs for its own.
Let’s move on to Edward and Elinor’s lil darling, who looks like it got into a bar fight in the womb:
Disheartened, I tried to see if Willoughby and Marianne’s theoretical child would do any better in the genetics lottery…
(Spoiler Alert: It did not.)
…That baby looks like it wants to tell me about John Coltrane and how good The Cosby Show used to be.
Then I got real sassy and merged Robert Ferrars with Lucy Steele and paid for my hubris with God’s Own Abomination:
BURN IT. BURN IT WITH FIRE. 🔥 🔥
I honestly didn’t think Fanny and John Dashwood’s crotchfruit would be any better but it already has its mother’s mad side eye skillz down pat:
Anyway, like I said, I tried a second app too, but… please don’t expect much:
This child has some GREAT hair but we gotta work on that Resting Pig Face before she starts school…
I honestly believe this child is going to eat my soul.
Forget a forehead or even a fivehead — this Ferrars-Steele terror has got a sixhead that’ll give you waking nightmares.
The lovechild of Marianne and Willoughby looks like he belongs on a 1990’s boy band CD case.
…maybe she has a great personality?
What’s your favorite merge? Which one is going to give you night terrors? Who would you have liked to seen merged? Let us know in the comments!