25 Days of Sense & Sensibility: Day 11 – Christmas Newsletters

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The Dashwood Family

Barton Cottage, Barton Park

Devonshire, England

Hello all! Happy holidays, Merry Christmas and joyous whatever holiday you celebrate but have to keep quiet about because this is 1811 England we’re still pretty intolerant as fuck, in general. 🎄

The girls and I have had a rough year of it, y’know, with Mr. Dashwood dying and everything. (The real tragedy is how well I’m pulling off this black crepe, amiright or amiright?!)

And we did get kicked out of Norland Park. (Shout out to John and Fanny! This is why your father abandoned you at a young age!) But my dear, dear cousin Sir Middleton has taken us in. The rent is cheap but we have to listen to his mother-in-law’s terrible jokes so… it’s really a wash.

And of course, Marianne ruined her reputation by gallivanting around with Mr. Willoughby, who I ALWAYS SAID was no good for her and anyone who brings up how much I loved him at the start is wrong, ELINOR.

Then she got SUPER sick and almost died, but keeping two out of three alive in 1811 is no small feat. Anyway, she lived so I still have a 100% success rate!

Also, please send sugar and meat in lieu of Christmas gifts this year. My eldest is trying to STARVE us.

Happy holidays!!

Mrs. Dashwood



Darling (First Name),

Enclosed, please find a little present just for you.

Forever and always yours,

John


E.C. Ferrars

London, England

Happy holidays to all my family and friends! Mama tells me I have been very happy this year, and we are dining with several important families this season so I guess that means I am doing well.

Additionally, I have been instructed to buy a barouche, so if you know of anyone who is selling one on the cheap, so please let me know what you think are the best, most fashionable models this year.

Also, I seem to be missing a monogrammed handkerchief? If anyone knows what happened to it, I’d love to have it back. (Who knows what misunderstandings that could cause, right!?)

I shall be returning to Oxford in a few weeks, and I shall break my journey at Norland Park to see my dearest sister Fanny. (I’m not sure how to adequately express sarcasm in a letter, but I am *REALLY* looking forward to that.) 😒

I hope your holidays are happier than mine!

With love,

Edward



To Whom It May Concern,

Best wishes for a joyous Yuletide season from the Dashwood Family.

A gift of £5 has been made in your name to the Norland Park Conservation Fund.

Sincerely,

Mr. and Mrs. John Dashwood, Esq.



-R

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7 thoughts on “25 Days of Sense & Sensibility: Day 11 – Christmas Newsletters

  1. Thank you for these awesome Christmas letters! They are very funny. Margaret’s, Mrs Dashwood’s and John and Fanny’s are my favourites. John is clever enough to include the donation to Fanny’s Grecian temple! Mind you Edward’s is more sentimental. I also like how you included the, “I will ask Jackson to plant some very tall trees” joke.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. BRILLIANT. I’d only change one thing: Col. Brandon’s signature should be “felicitations” or similar, rather than “Love.”

    Keep ’em coming, I look forward to your posts every day!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. How do I properly express my gratitude for these amazing holiday newsletters? (Thank you, thank you, thank you! Not enough, but there you have it.)

    Loved each holiday greeting, and found Mrs. Dashwood’s so funny that I nearly choked on my lunch. (Definitely worth it!)

    This post puts me in mind of Mark Brownlow’s email inboxes for Brandon, Marianne, and other characters from S&S (http://www.lostopinions.com/email/colonel-brandon/). I love how these characters become such good friends (or frenemies) to us that we see them everywhere in our modern lives!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Love them all, especially Margaret’s. I would love a deep dive on Margaret, she’s always been a fave. Did no one care that she enjoyed typical “boy” activities like fishing and climbing and piracy? Would that adventurousness have been snuffed out as she got into her teenage years? Could she have persisted into an early feminist?

    Liked by 1 person

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