25 Days of Pride & Prejudice, Day 15: I’m Not Drunk, Darcy Is Just Blurry

Sooo… I’m kind of drunk right now.

Not NOW, as in, right now as you read this, but NOW as in while I’m writing this, which is basically the night before it gets posted which is technically also now as you read this but also there’s people who won’t read this for weeks but this moment is that moment and fuck I just made myself dizzy trying to think about that.

AND NO, I will not be doing a drinking game…tonight. I may or may not be saving that for a special day. Which is not the same special day as tomorrow, which you should DEFINITELY come back for to see what’s up.

(I drank that)

(And that)

(And some of that)

Anyway, I had some AMAZING drinks tonight, all Christmas-themed, and I kind of want to carry on in this style for today’s blog. Which is to say, a very alcoholic style.

So I’m going to try to describe the 2005 Pride & Prejudice characters as if they were specialty shooters on a drinks menu:


The Lizzy Bennet

Not as good as you think it’s going to be, but it’ll do when you can’t have the drink you actually want. It’s the only drink on the menu that includes your favorite liquor so you’ll order it for now until you get drunk enough to start mixing.


The Mr. Darcy

The drink that everyone raves about, the one that you came here for because your friend wouldn’t shut up about it. First sip is fine, even bordering on good, but you’re kind of meh about it the longer you have to drink it.


The Mr. Wickham

Make a Long Island Iced Tea. Drink it. Repeat until you black out and can’t remember where your wallet is the next day.


The Mr. Bingley

Far too sweet, even if you like sweet drinks. Comes with a candy straw, whipped cream, good intentions, and a cherry on top.


The Caroline Bingley

Jägermeister, peach schnapps, cranberry juice and disdain.


The Mr. Collins

Tastes like black licorice and regret. The kind of drink that your friend likes and you can’t understand why they’d ever let it get near their mouth.


The Lady Catherine

Whiskey, straight up. But the bartender has to stay there the whole time and talk shit about you to your face.


The Anne DeBourgh

Try not to make too much noise and quietly leave the bar without ever actually having ordered anything.


The Georgiana Darcy

Elderflower vodka, simple syrup and egg whites, whip into a froth and then smash all those delicate hopes on the ground just like Wickham did.


The Charlotte Collins

Whatever’s cheapest on the menu.


The Lydia and The Kitty

Looks neon, practically radioactive. Comes in a pair. Drink The Lydia first, but it’s ok if you don’t get around to The Kitty.


The Mrs. Bennet

Makes your head hurt just looking at it.


The Mr. Bennet

Best enjoyed alone, in a corner, with a good book. The waitress knows if she interrupts, she’ll lose her tip.


The Pig’s Ballz

A regular chocolate mudslide, but you stare at it lustfully until everyone around you is uncomfortable.


 

Find the first two weeks of madness here:

Day 1
Day 2
Day 3
Day 4
Day 5
Day 6
Day 7
Day 8
Day 9
Day 10
Day 11
Day 12
Day 13
Day 14
And, now that it’s over, here’s all the rest:
Day 16
Day 17
Day 18
Day 19
Day 20
Day 21
Day 22
Day 23
Day 24
Day 25

-Admin R

20 thoughts on “25 Days of Pride & Prejudice, Day 15: I’m Not Drunk, Darcy Is Just Blurry

  1. What about the Mary Bennet? The drink you finally get after waving a crumpled bill through a crush of people around the bar, only to get a kind of watery concoction that you swear was made by the barback when management was too busy to notice. If you manage to get through the entire drink you’ll see it has quite a nice and unexpected kick in the end.

    Like

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