So, believe it or not, I actually do read pretty much all of your comments. Whether it’s here on WordPress or over on Facebook or Twitter or Instagram, I spend a lot of my time each day just checking out what you guys are chatting about and what you’re telling us 🙂
I know, I have no life, but hey ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ you guys are awesome and it’s entertaining AF.
And of course, there’s been a ton of comments on these posts for the last 2 weeks so I’ve been doing a LOT of reading. One of them, over on Facebook yesterday, caught my attention though. One of our lovely followers named Ana mentioned that you hear Darcy’s name an AWFUL lot in this movie, something like every two minutes, she theorized.
And I, ever on the lookout for a fresh take in this spiraling pit of self-induced torture, started to think about that. I can’t say I ever really noticed, but I was curious to see if her theory held up.
“SURELY,” I thought, “THIS MUST BE HYPERBOLE.”
So I turned on my stopwatch on my phone and lapped it every time I heard Darcy’s name. I gave myself a few caveats though: I did NOT count hearing “Miss Darcy” as the Darcy name, but I did count the few times at the end where he says “Mrs. Darcy” over and over. My theory was that he was referring to Lizzy in reference to himself, and therefore reminding us that he was Mr. Darcy. Hearing his sister’s name doesn’t evoke quite the same meaning, IMHO. (Don’t get me started on the patriarchal BS societal expectation of taking the husband’s name after marriage, or we’ll be here all day…)
ANYWAY: I learned a few things.
First, Darcy’s name is mentioned 65 times in this movie.
Someone say a prayer for me because that means by the end of this project I will have heard someone say “Mr. Darcy” no less than 1,625 times.
Second, the movie’s only about 2 hours and 5-ish minutes long. (If you don’t count the credits.) That means someone referencing or speaking to Mr. Darcy happens an average of every 1.92 minutes.
So basically, Ana was correct. On average, you cannot go even two minutes without hearing Darcy’s name. God damn you, Joe Wright.
Third, if we’re being literal, the actual time stamps vary:
The longest time you go without hearing his name is just over 11 minutes. (Ironically, the top spot is almost tied with another 11-minute gap that’s only a few seconds shy of the winner, so I’m going to tell you about both.)
The longest time period of 11 minutes and 7 seconds encompasses everything after Lizzy and Colonel Fitzwilliam are talking in the church, through Darcy’s first proposal, into Jane and Lizzy’s return to Longbourn, then through Lydia’s scenes about going to Brighton (and Lizzy talking with Mr. Bennet) and all the way up to the point where Lizzy mentions to Jane that she saw Darcy in Hertfordshire.
The second longest time, at 11:01 minutes, is everything between when Lizzy says Darcy’s name in the middle of their dance at the Netherfield Ball, through Mr. Collins’ proposal and Lizzy’s subsequent refusal drama, Charlotte’s acceptance, and right up to the scene where Lizzy realizes Darcy’s in the room at Rosings — when she meets Lady Catherine DeBourgh.
And fourth, the shortest time is, of course, when Caroline is getting all up in Darcy’s grill about being included in his letter. Literally only a second or two before she says his name again and again and again. Stage Five Clinger y’all.
So congrats Ana, you win… nothing. You win absolutely nothing but the knowledge that your funny theory was, in fact, literal truth. I’m so sorry. Everything is terrible and holy shit I can’t believe I’m two weeks into this thing already and starting to seriously lose it. I actually spent two hours tonight timing how often I heard Darcy’s name. Someone send help in the form of alcohol please.
10 more days to go 😭
I do want to let you all in on a secret though: I have big plans for Day 16… if the date doesn’t mean anything to you yet, then I suggest either a healthy round of Googling or… idk, be patient?
All I’m sayin’ is, make sure you tune in on Day 16 for a special surprise.
Catch the first half of this trip down insane lane here:
And, now that it’s over, here’s all the rest: