It’s come to my attention that animals exist in only two places in this universe—at the Bennet Home and in Meryton Town Square. Anywhere else and they’re mysteriously absent.
For the purposes of this listing, I’m also counting dogs and horses as technical “livestock.” Don’t @ me.
If you missed Day 1, Find it HERE!
1:30 Only a minute in and we’ve already got geese and steer making an appearance. But questions abound: Why is there a ditch outside of Longbourn and why is Lizzy using this rickety-ass lookin bridge to cross it? Why is clean white laundry hanging where the animals can get to it???
2:12 First sight of adorable family dog. I shall call him Max.
2:37 Jesus Christ, more geese and we’re not even 3 minutes in.
(Surprisingly, there are no animals running rampant at the Meryton Ball. I thought for sure they’d work them in somehow.)
(I was very tempted to skip through this ball scene but I need everyone to know I am committed and I DID NOT!)
14:55 Max! This time he looks like he’s eating something out of the ash pit in the fireplace… Max may not be very smart.
16:06 Truly inexplicable chicken on the doorstep that look suspiciously dry compared to Lizzy.
18:52 My notes just say “GIANT PIG BALLZ”
25:50 You can’t see them, but there’s obviously a lot of sheep around here somewhere with that racket going on.
29:26 ALL THE LIVESTOCK! We got yer horses, yer chickens, yer pigs, you name it!
34:18 More horses.
45:26 All horses, all the time.
45:45 Max! 😍
49:50 Mrs. Bennet has recruited the geese to chase after Lizzy too.
50: 29 More geese, making their Hollywood debut, on the lake as Lizzy ponders.
54:32 It’s like, are we even AT Longbourn if there’s no livestock in the shot? More chickens and some cows in the far background.
55:54 On the swing: With chickens!
56:01 On the swing: With cows!
56:12 On the swing: With horses! (And a bonus chicken!)
56:28 On the swing: With very wet chickens and geese!
59:27 Do birds in cages count as rich people livestock?
Surprisingly, no livestock in the first proposal scene. I’m disappointed in you, Joe Wright.)
1:20:22 Horses butts! Honestly I’m surprised we made it 20+ minutes without a livestock sighting.
1:21:16 Wild deer!!
1:21:21 More horse butts, for your viewing pleasure.
(Legitimately surprised there’s not at least one stray chicken in this Lambton Inn scene.)
1:32:14 (Drunk Austen does not condone the use of horse whips.)
1:34:32 Another Max sighting, and he’s got a little doggy buddy with him! I shall name you Fred!
1:35:17 Dogs, horses and chickens, oh my. We must be at Longbourn.
1:37:59 Pig and chickens, and we’re in the town square. My theory is holding up: Clearly, animals cease to exist outside of Meryton Square or Longbourn…
1:42:40 Do bugs count as livestock? Because they ought to in this scene, Jesus.
Oh my god I think that’s it. With 20 minutes to go, I think that’s the last scene with any animals in it… it’s like the crushed them all up at the beginning and then forgot there was a plot that was supposed to be advancing until the very end and were like, “We don’t have time for animals any more!)
What we’ve learned: There are far too many pig balls (2) and surprisingly not enough horses (at least 8!).
Tune in tomorrow for Day 3 and more insanity. I’m so sorry.